Here's to your health! (In a way you never expected...)

Oh, it's *such* inappropriate timing to post this now, but I'm going to anyway....

Hey folks! It's been a while, no? My deepest apologies, I've been sucked into the black hole that is known as grad school. To be honest, the only reason I'm able to post today is because I got up early to work out and the little workout center in my apartment complex is closed. And so I have decided to follow the adage of, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" and post before getting ready for my internship. Whether or not you find this lemonade 'tasty' is a whole different question...let's see if I can be coherent at 6 am, shall we? :)

I have been developing a theory over the past few weeks which finally evolved last night into something big enough for a post (I hope). For those of you not in the Boston area, winter still has a firm grip on our weather, and it may or may not let up soon. The rest of you see this time of year as the time of hope - those days when it gets warmer are harbingers of happiness: spring is on its way! Not so much here in The Hub. Those days when it gets warmer are just a tease...cold rain instead of snow is not an omen that spring is coming, but instead they are a rouse to get your hopes up only to smash them into tiny pieces again when it snows sometime in early April. I'm starting to understand why New Englanders are somewhat surly...I mean, if I'm going to suffer through cold rain (and believe me, I'd rather it snow than have cold rain, at least snow is pretty) I want warm weather and flowers at the end of it, not more biting winds and snow.

So as you can see, this weather has affected my normally silly and humorous outlook on life. There's actually a psychological disorder for this mild form of depression: it's called Seasonal Affective Disorder (proving that psychiatrists everywhere do indeed have a sense of humor, since you can abbreviate this to SAD). I've recently been trying to think of ways to fight this moodiness (what my friend Bonnie and I like to call "the poopies" - when you're in a poopy mood for no apparently good reason)...and thus my theory began to take shape:

I think I need someone to make out with for the rest of winter.

That's right, you heard me. And here's why: research shows that sexual acitvity releases endorphins, which can create a natural euphoric effect. Yeah, sure, I could run a billion miles and get a runner's high...oh wait, except it's TOO COLD outside to do that, and besides I have arthritis and that wouldn't be good for me. Or I could lay out and get some sun - that's another way to get some natural endorphins...oh wait, except it's WINTER and the sun refuses to shine for more than 15 minutes at a time, and when it does shine it's negative one billion degrees outside. Making out is just the right thing: simple, natural, and fun.

But the best part of this theory is that there are other benefits! I'm fairly sure that one way I've been trying to get some endorphins is by stuffing my face full of every bit of food I can get my hands on, especially chocolate (which also releases endorphins, in case you don't feel like finding someone to make out with). Now, those of you who know me know that I'm already naturally a human garbage disposal: I'm hungry ALL the time, and even when I'm not I can still eat for some weird reason. I crave food even when I'm full. But my ingestion activity has at least doubled since january, and I'm fairly sure it's due to the fact that it's winter, and because I might be replacing a need to make out with food. So, if I find someone to make out with, I get the endorphins PLUS I no longer need to use food to replace the desire to make out with someone PLUS when I make out with someone my heart beats a little faster; ERGO I would be healthier.

And there's more! No, you say, Kristy, there can't be more! This is already too good to be true! But I say to you, YES! THE BENEFITS CONTINUE! Per my friend Lizzy, kissing causes your mouth to release extra saliva, which then washes bacteria off your teeth and prevents cavities. Who needs to brush after every meal when you have someone to kiss instead? I think we can all agree that kissing is much more fun than brushing your teeth. So on top of the added weight and mental health benefits, making out is good for your dental health as well!

And there you have it, folks.

As a final note, I'd like to give a big shout out to my friend Michelle, who ran around with me yesterday and provided me with sparkling conversation and wonderful company while I did my errands. You know it's a good friend who is willing to tag along just to be your company while you run errands. Much love, Michelle! =)